Current situation: Single. I would like to test the waters. Terrified to meet someone online.
I would have never imagined myself to be single at 40. I have always been the relationship type. Now that I’m single, I don’t know how to date. Is there a manual, please, for the emotionally crippled? Is it a good thing or bad thing to be a relationship type person or should you know how to be the “dating type”?
Before I used to meet someone through school, friends or work. Now, at 40, I have to go online and swipe left if I don’t like them or right if I do. WTF! I used to meet someone in person and if there was a spark, we’d flirt, be friends and then POW “RELATIONSHIP.”
If I was single for like a split second, I would be that person who goes along in conversation with the guy who was brave enough to come over and speak to me. Even though I had no intention of going out with them, I would give them my number and then I would ignore their call. Or when the conversation came to the point where the guy would ask me if he could take me out I’d say “I’m sorry but I have a boyfriend” just so they wouldn’t feel bad and so they’d leave me alone. It sucks to do, but sometimes for me, turning them down gently that way made me feel better.
I’ve been alone for 8 months now and I’m still not so sure I like it. After my break up back in October, I set a goal to be free of men for at least 6 months because I was emotionally spent. First, it was my divorce. Then, my 1+ year relationship breakup.
I struggled with not being with someone for a few months at first. Cried a lot. By the sixth month, it got easier. Still, at the eighth month mark it can still get hard at times to get used to it. However, I have learned to enjoy the alone moments much more so now than before. It is nice to come home and not say a word to anyone. When I don’t have my son, Hudson, I have what some women wished they had, even if it’s for a few hours – some alone time! I am grateful and I do appreciate it! 🙂
I have joined two dating websites and they freak me out. Here are my reasons why.
- The unfamiliarity of not knowing the person face to face.
- I don’t want men that I don’t find attractive to keep notifying me.
- Seeing someone on it I already know. (which I have LOL)
- Someone I know seeing me on it.
- It’s just so freaking weird to me currently.
You would think knowing you can now swipe left on the online dating sites, I’d feel less guilty about it. LOL Nope, I don’t. GRRRR I feel every time I do swipe left the guy can see me doing it and I hear them say “Well that’s just rude” or have that sad disappointed look.
Unfortunately, I’ve been doing more left swipes then right ones!!!
Currently, I have been messaging with two guys but one stop writing me. So I’m just messaging with one. Still no question of whether we should meet yet.
I’ve been watching Sex & the City reruns again and as much as they are funny as hell, there is some truth to these episodes. When you are single, all the married people are more magnified and in your face about not being in a relationship. And as you get older it is seems to be much harder to meet someone the old fashion way. They should create the modern version of the show and called it “Sex & Swipe left or Right City.”
Women in the city must still have a better turn out meeting someone in person as much as online. Unlike us women in burbs, it is a bit more difficult and have no choice but to find them online.
What is your dating situation like?
Have you tried online dating?
How has it worked out for you?
I’d like to hear from you. Leave a comment below.