Last night, after I put you to sleep, I scrolled through my phone and came across a letter I wrote in my notes back on January 2nd of this year, 2017.
“Dear Hudson, last night was going to be one of my memorable nights with you. Right before going to sleep, I messed around with you, taking your nose off and telling you it was going to be mine. The sound of your laughter is always happiness to me! I love making you laugh and I enjoy our moments together. At one point, you asked me to sing to you and I sung “You are my sunshine.” Then you asked me to tell u a story about pirates & mermaids. Together we created our own story about them. It wasn’t fairytales but it was our story and I will take this memory with me forever. Before u fell asleep you grabbed my arm put it around you and said “mommy, I love you.” Tears of joy sprung, but also sadness occurred because one day you will not be this little boy anymore and selfishly I don’t want the innocent moments with you to ever go away! I decided to start writing these moments down, so that I may share them with you when you get older. I love you my Beautiful Son 😘.”
Reading this note, brought me joy. Especially because we just shared another memorable moment after I picked you up from camp.
Tuesday night before I went to bed, I made the decision I was going to pick you up from camp and we were both going to have a picnic at the park and spend some quality time together.
I put together all things I knew you would want to have at the park:
- YOUR CHOCOLATE MILK (lord knows that’s the first thing you ask me for when I pick you up) LOL!
- Your toy guns
- Your Ipad (I know “What?” Ipad at a park? Fortunately, you used it for like 5-10 minutes.) Ha-ha
Then I put together all things I know as a mom would want to have at the park:
- A blanket, a chair, a sweater (weather had cooled off bit from the heat wave we had recently)
- Some snacks, stuff to make peanut butter & jelly, cheese, yogurt, juice, water…you get the gist!
Damn I forgot the WINE…Grrrr. Oh Well!
Wednesday’s is our day back together from daddy’s. Most of the time when I pick you up, we’re either going to someone’s house or cooped up indoors, but I wanted to be sure we had a lot more quality time together now, while you’re still 5 or at least a young boy still, before growing up before my eyes.
We sat close to the playground area and I thought it would be you and I hanging out on the lawn area for a bit, while we had something to eat together, but you actually ended up playing with some of the kids in the play area instead.
It was all good! I just sat back, watched you interact with the other kids and have a good time! I chimed in every so often to play with you and the children from time to time, and that was fun too!
Most of the kids had left after while. You asked me to sit with you on the blanket and we just chilled together. You on your iPad and me laying down while listening to music off my phone and enjoying every beautiful breeze that passed through. It was such a peaceful moment with you!
In the future, when you read this, I want you to know how extraordinary it is to have these special moments with you. It is not always about quantity but the quality and bond that we create with each other that matters most to me.
I look forward to life growth with you and building a stronger bond each time.
I Love You Bubby!