A Letter to My Son: To be a Leader, Compassion is Key.

Today is Sunday May 28th, 2017. It’s Memorial Day Weekend. We had no set plans for the weekend. Just another weekend with an extra day off from work and school.  I did, however, work my part-time gig Saturday night at the catering hall in Nyack.  I was asked to bartend a party of a 30-year high school reunion.  Nothing big. Just a party of 60.  Not too bad of a night. The party started at 7 p.m. and ended at 11 p.m.  There were two other parties as well throughout the night in other parts of the venue.

It had been weeks since I worked there. I originally dreaded going back. Who wants to work another job when you have a full-time one? But when you need to make ends meet, you do what you need to do.  When I got there, my co-workers were pleased to see me. Some asked me where I had been and that it was good to see me.  It  pleased me to know I was missed.

Fast forward to the party. Guests arrived and they immediately started ordering drinks.  It was an open bar so there was no hassle in dealing with money for the night except for tips.  Most people asked for mixed drinks but soon after people started to ask for domestic beers. To our dismay the venue only had a few domestic beers left in the fridge. Within an half hour into the party we ran out of what we had.  The guest were pretty upset, rightfully so.  I couldn’t believe that a catering place and restaurant would not be stocked with domestic beers.  It was very strange and odd to me. Then again it’s not my first experience on a job where they are unequipped with things that are needed for these types of events.

Moving on through the night. Our party ended and we had started our cleanup process.  Again, besides our 30th Reunion party there were other parties going on as well.  A waiter from one of the other parties came to us asking if one of us could go over to the other side to help out. I volunteered but I didn’t know what they need help with. As I was walking over, the waiter said to me “the bar outside is crazy and they need some help. Can you help bartend?”  I said “yes.”  Well I didn’t know I was walking into the “Lion’s Den” when I got to the bar. It was mayhem.  Bartenders running back & forth, the DJ was playing loud music, customers were looking to order drinks and there were huge piles of messes all over.  So I jumped right in and I was scared that I would be eaten alive.  I had never worked that side of the venue and I only worked on their cash register once before this night. What a crazy moment it was! I wanted to cry and scream out but there was no time. I couldn’t help wonder what these customers thought about us and the service here.  I know if I were on their end, I would of completely said “This Place Sucks!”

The moral of this story is that it amazes me how businesses run these days.  There really isn’t much order, guidance or great leadership going on.  Just managers telling people what to do. When there is no leadership, there is no good morale that goes on in the workforce.  This part-time job and my full-time job all relate to the same concept I keep running into.  People just don’t care about their work environment like they should because the top people don’t have a clue themselves. It’s all just go go go and do do do attitude.  All the while employees are not caring or being compassionate about their jobs.  To me and to many others it’s just a job. No more, no less. We have no extra care like we should because the higher ups don’t show compassion themselves in their workers.

I record “Super Soul Sunday” by Oprah every Sunday. I hope it’s around for you to watch when you get older one day, Hudson. She sits and talks to the most spiritual and influential people who are truly inspirational.  These people are mindful to what this world needs in today’s age.

In the episode I watched today, she sits with the CEO of Linkin (Google It. LOL). The episode is called “The 5 Keys to Happiness That LinkedIn CEO Jeff Weiner Lives By”  He is what I believe most, if not all CEO, FFO, EEO’s, VP, EP, Presidents; whatever the top executives acronyms have these days, should be taught about leadership.

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/own-super-soul-sunday/linkedin-ceo-jeff-weiner-the-5-keys-to-happiness-video#ixzz4iPwagR2a

We need more leaders to show up with compassion in every industry. If you ever become a top executive or own a business of some sort, I hope to have shown you a lot about compassion, empathy, kindness and really good core values that are simple in life. I hope that will be your mission to your employees first so that they feel valued and will work with loyalty to you just  because you cared.  In turn you would be the one sitting in with Oprah or the next generation of Oprahs and you would be the next “Jeff Weiner.”

I Love You to the Moon & Back. I carry your heart!

Love Mama.

Xo

Good Deed #2 – Father & Daughter Dance

On Saturday, May 20th 2017, I had the privilege of styling my co-worker, Jeannine, daughter’s hair for her father & daughter dance. Her name is Noelle and she goes to the Immaculate Conception School in Yonkers, NY.   Noelle is a beautiful young lady who rarely cares for the everyday hair & makeup extravaganza but that day was a special day for her. She was going to have a date with the only best man she will ever have in her life…HER DAD!

 

 

Noelle loves braids. I did a small dutch braid in front and to the side. Then just added some beautiful curls all over. She seemed pleased and I told them to send me pictures of her in her dress after she got ready. No sooner after they left I received a text message from Jeannine with gratitude. She said that Noelle loved it and spoke about it on the way home.  I was so thrilled to hear that she was happy and that I could create a beautiful hairstyle for her. It put a big smile on my face. 🙂

Beautiful!

“The best thing a dad can give to his daughter is his time. “

I found out that they had a great time! 🙂

Much Love.

Xo.

 

Good Deed #1 – In Memory of Alivia James Singleton

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A year ago today my cousin Jocelyn and her fiancé lost one of their twin daughters, #AliviaJamesSingleton. She was diagnosed with IUGR. Both Alivia and Arianna were both born 7 weeks premature.

IUGR: “The most common definition of intrauterine growth restriction (IUGR) is a fetal weight that is below the 10th percentile for gestational age as determined through an ultrasound. This can also be called small-for gestational age (SGA) or fetal growth restriction”. http://bit.ly/2qFvXA9

The girls were able to spend the holidays with the family at home in 2015 after being in the hospital for a couple of months but unfortunately baby Liv (Alivia) did not do well and ended right back at the hospital shortly after. She was a strong fighter to the very end. Her poor body could not withstand any more poking or prodding. My cousin Jocelyn and her fiance Lamont had to make the hardest decisions of their lives and let go of their beautiful daughter.

Last weekend they gathered together with friends and family and walked at the March of Dimes in Pittsburgh, PA. Not only did they walked in Love & Honor of baby Alivia James and Arianna, but for those beautiful babies who are born premature and those who did not have a fighting chance.  Please take a moment to read Jocelyn’s beautiful story from the March of Dimes “Why I Walk.” http://bit.ly/2p2paDn

 

I wasn’t able to be there with them to walk in Love for Alivia and my cousins, but there is something I can do in her honor.  I have made a GoFundMe account to raise $500 and donate it to the March of Dimes on behalf of Alivia James Singleton.

http://bit.ly/2q4JfsZ

Please help me raise money towards all beautiful babies who are born premature and the doctors and nurses who work hard at keeping them stronge at their early stages of life.  My heart goes out to my family and those who have lost a child due to unfortunate circumstances as infants.

Today, Aliva’s sister Ari (Arianna) is doing very well and is a moving Diva! She makes our family smile from ear to ear with her silly ways and beautiful face. We are pretty sure her twin sister Liv is watching over her and guiding her through her days. 🙂

 

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Thank you for your support!

Love Always.

Xoxo

PS. I also dedicated this to my sister. Her son (my nephew) Evan Andrew was born premature also. He just turned 8 years old and is doing very well.

Thank you. 🙂