Dear Hudson – July 27, 2017

Last night, after I put you to sleep, I scrolled through my phone and came across a letter I wrote in my notes back on January 2nd of this year, 2017.

It said…

“Dear Hudson, last night was going to be one of my memorable nights with you. Right before going to sleep, I messed around with you, taking your nose off and telling you it was going to be mine. The sound of your laughter is always happiness to me! I love making you laugh and I enjoy our moments together. At one point, you asked me to sing to you and I sung “You are my sunshine.” Then you asked me to tell u a story about pirates & mermaids. Together we created our own story about them.  It wasn’t fairytales but it was our story and I will take this memory with me forever. Before u fell asleep you grabbed my arm put it around you and said “mommy, I love you.” Tears of joy sprung, but also sadness occurred because one day you will not be this little boy anymore and selfishly I don’t want the innocent moments with you to ever go away!  I decided to start writing these moments down, so that I may share them with you when you get older. I love you my Beautiful Son 😘.”

Reading this note, brought me joy.  Especially because we just shared another memorable moment after I picked you up from camp.

Tuesday night before I went to bed, I made the decision I was going to pick you up from camp and we were both going to have a picnic at the park and spend some quality time together. 

I put together all things I knew you would want to have at the park:

  • YOUR CHOCOLATE MILK (lord knows that’s the first thing you ask me for when I pick you up) LOL!
  • Your toy guns
  • Your Ipad (I know “What?” Ipad at a park? Fortunately, you used it for like 5-10 minutes.) Ha-ha

Then I put together all things I know as a mom would want to have at the park:

  • A blanket, a chair, a sweater (weather had cooled off bit from the heat wave we had recently)
  • Some snacks, stuff to make peanut butter & jelly, cheese, yogurt, juice, water…you get the gist!

Damn I forgot the WINE…Grrrr. Oh Well!

Wednesday’s is our day back together from daddy’s. Most of the time when I pick you up, we’re either going to someone’s house or cooped up indoors, but I wanted to be sure we had a lot more quality time together now, while you’re still 5 or at least a young boy still, before growing up before my eyes.

We sat close to the playground area and I thought it would be you and I hanging out on the lawn area for a bit, while we had something to eat together, but you actually ended up playing with some of the kids in the play area instead.  Image result for smirk emoji

It was all good! I just sat back, watched you interact with the other kids and have a good time!  I chimed in every so often to play with you and the children from time to time, and that was fun too! 

Most of the kids had left after while.  You asked me to sit with you on the blanket and we just chilled together. You on your iPad and me laying down while listening to music off my phone and enjoying every beautiful breeze that passed through.  It was such a peaceful moment with you!

In the future, when you read this, I want you to know how extraordinary it is to have these special moments with you.  It is not always about quantity but the quality and bond that we create with each other that matters most to me.  

I look forward to life growth with you and building a stronger bond each time. 

I Love You Bubby! 

Love Mama






A Letter to My Son: To be a Leader, Compassion is Key.

Today is Sunday May 28th, 2017. It’s Memorial Day Weekend. We had no set plans for the weekend. Just another weekend with an extra day off from work and school.  I did, however, work my part-time gig Saturday night at the catering hall in Nyack.  I was asked to bartend a party of a 30-year high school reunion.  Nothing big. Just a party of 60.  Not too bad of a night. The party started at 7 p.m. and ended at 11 p.m.  There were two other parties as well throughout the night in other parts of the venue.

It had been weeks since I worked there. I originally dreaded going back. Who wants to work another job when you have a full-time one? But when you need to make ends meet, you do what you need to do.  When I got there, my co-workers were pleased to see me. Some asked me where I had been and that it was good to see me.  It  pleased me to know I was missed.

Fast forward to the party. Guests arrived and they immediately started ordering drinks.  It was an open bar so there was no hassle in dealing with money for the night except for tips.  Most people asked for mixed drinks but soon after people started to ask for domestic beers. To our dismay the venue only had a few domestic beers left in the fridge. Within an half hour into the party we ran out of what we had.  The guest were pretty upset, rightfully so.  I couldn’t believe that a catering place and restaurant would not be stocked with domestic beers.  It was very strange and odd to me. Then again it’s not my first experience on a job where they are unequipped with things that are needed for these types of events.

Moving on through the night. Our party ended and we had started our cleanup process.  Again, besides our 30th Reunion party there were other parties going on as well.  A waiter from one of the other parties came to us asking if one of us could go over to the other side to help out. I volunteered but I didn’t know what they need help with. As I was walking over, the waiter said to me “the bar outside is crazy and they need some help. Can you help bartend?”  I said “yes.”  Well I didn’t know I was walking into the “Lion’s Den” when I got to the bar. It was mayhem.  Bartenders running back & forth, the DJ was playing loud music, customers were looking to order drinks and there were huge piles of messes all over.  So I jumped right in and I was scared that I would be eaten alive.  I had never worked that side of the venue and I only worked on their cash register once before this night. What a crazy moment it was! I wanted to cry and scream out but there was no time. I couldn’t help wonder what these customers thought about us and the service here.  I know if I were on their end, I would of completely said “This Place Sucks!”

The moral of this story is that it amazes me how businesses run these days.  There really isn’t much order, guidance or great leadership going on.  Just managers telling people what to do. When there is no leadership, there is no good morale that goes on in the workforce.  This part-time job and my full-time job all relate to the same concept I keep running into.  People just don’t care about their work environment like they should because the top people don’t have a clue themselves. It’s all just go go go and do do do attitude.  All the while employees are not caring or being compassionate about their jobs.  To me and to many others it’s just a job. No more, no less. We have no extra care like we should because the higher ups don’t show compassion themselves in their workers.

I record “Super Soul Sunday” by Oprah every Sunday. I hope it’s around for you to watch when you get older one day, Hudson. She sits and talks to the most spiritual and influential people who are truly inspirational.  These people are mindful to what this world needs in today’s age.

In the episode I watched today, she sits with the CEO of Linkin (Google It. LOL). The episode is called “The 5 Keys to Happiness That LinkedIn CEO Jeff Weiner Lives By”  He is what I believe most, if not all CEO, FFO, EEO’s, VP, EP, Presidents; whatever the top executives acronyms have these days, should be taught about leadership.

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We need more leaders to show up with compassion in every industry. If you ever become a top executive or own a business of some sort, I hope to have shown you a lot about compassion, empathy, kindness and really good core values that are simple in life. I hope that will be your mission to your employees first so that they feel valued and will work with loyalty to you just  because you cared.  In turn you would be the one sitting in with Oprah or the next generation of Oprahs and you would be the next “Jeff Weiner.”

I Love You to the Moon & Back. I carry your heart!

Love Mama.