I Don’t Know How To Do This but…

As I sat in my living watching an episode of “Super Soul Sunday”, Oprah speaks with author Paul Williams and Co-author Tracy Jackson, I found comfort in hearing these words from their book Gratitude & Trust...

“I don’t know how to do this but something inside me does”

Most days I feel I’m all over the place wondering where? what? or when? will I run right smack into what I’m meant to do the rest of my life. But I can’t and it won’t because it’s a process. And it takes time.

Truth is I don’t know how to do “THIS”:

Blogging

Entrepreneurial

Writing

Hair-styling

Coaching

Modeling

ETC…

However, I know I don’t want to play small. I want to be “GREAT” and I will continue to keep striving each day till I am. I know something inside me does!

 

 

Hair. Beauty. & Beyond!

It’s all you butterfly, run with the bulls!

bull

My hair is my everyday accessory.

My beauty lies in both my inner soul & outer body.

Beyond is the trust of my journey!

I’ve been the average kind of person who thinks “Life Happens To Me.” Every day that I don’t put an effort keeps me believing in that quote.  Every step, progress and every effort I give each day can change my belief into “I Make Life Happen.”

I’ve been stuck in caterpillar mode for a long time. It is time to take this slow walk into a leap, fly in the same direction & run with bulls!

Thank you for your support always!

Gwen

 

 

Dear Hudson – July 27, 2017

Last night, after I put you to sleep, I scrolled through my phone and came across a letter I wrote in my notes back on January 2nd of this year, 2017.

It said…

“Dear Hudson, last night was going to be one of my memorable nights with you. Right before going to sleep, I messed around with you, taking your nose off and telling you it was going to be mine. The sound of your laughter is always happiness to me! I love making you laugh and I enjoy our moments together. At one point, you asked me to sing to you and I sung “You are my sunshine.” Then you asked me to tell u a story about pirates & mermaids. Together we created our own story about them.  It wasn’t fairytales but it was our story and I will take this memory with me forever. Before u fell asleep you grabbed my arm put it around you and said “mommy, I love you.” Tears of joy sprung, but also sadness occurred because one day you will not be this little boy anymore and selfishly I don’t want the innocent moments with you to ever go away!  I decided to start writing these moments down, so that I may share them with you when you get older. I love you my Beautiful Son 😘.”

Reading this note, brought me joy.  Especially because we just shared another memorable moment after I picked you up from camp.

Tuesday night before I went to bed, I made the decision I was going to pick you up from camp and we were both going to have a picnic at the park and spend some quality time together. 

I put together all things I knew you would want to have at the park:

  • YOUR CHOCOLATE MILK (lord knows that’s the first thing you ask me for when I pick you up) LOL!
  • Your toy guns
  • Your Ipad (I know “What?” Ipad at a park? Fortunately, you used it for like 5-10 minutes.) Ha-ha

Then I put together all things I know as a mom would want to have at the park:

  • A blanket, a chair, a sweater (weather had cooled off bit from the heat wave we had recently)
  • Some snacks, stuff to make peanut butter & jelly, cheese, yogurt, juice, water…you get the gist!

Damn I forgot the WINE…Grrrr. Oh Well!

Wednesday’s is our day back together from daddy’s. Most of the time when I pick you up, we’re either going to someone’s house or cooped up indoors, but I wanted to be sure we had a lot more quality time together now, while you’re still 5 or at least a young boy still, before growing up before my eyes.

We sat close to the playground area and I thought it would be you and I hanging out on the lawn area for a bit, while we had something to eat together, but you actually ended up playing with some of the kids in the play area instead.  Image result for smirk emoji

It was all good! I just sat back, watched you interact with the other kids and have a good time!  I chimed in every so often to play with you and the children from time to time, and that was fun too! 

Most of the kids had left after while.  You asked me to sit with you on the blanket and we just chilled together. You on your iPad and me laying down while listening to music off my phone and enjoying every beautiful breeze that passed through.  It was such a peaceful moment with you!

In the future, when you read this, I want you to know how extraordinary it is to have these special moments with you.  It is not always about quantity but the quality and bond that we create with each other that matters most to me.  

I look forward to life growth with you and building a stronger bond each time. 

I Love You Bubby! 

Love Mama

Xoxo

 

 

 

 

I’m Feeling Good

Image result for feeling good

I was asked by my co-worker why I was in a good mood today and I had to stop and think for a sec. I realized no particular reason at first but then it dawned on me.

I have been working out and staying on course with it for the past 4 weeks and lord knows I hate working out, so that’s a PLUS for me! 🙂 I’ve been working on my Abundance University workshop and nearing the end of it.

I’ve also been reading two books:

1.) “How to Transform Your Life – A blissful Journey” by Geshe Kelsang Gyatso

<a target=”_blank” href=”https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1616060522/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1616060522&linkCode=as2&tag=myblog0403-20&linkId=2d0e21204027db70aec218e63b7e539b”>How to Transform Your Life: A Blissful Journey</a><img src=”//ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=myblog0403-20&l=am2&o=1&a=1616060522″ width=”1″ height=”1″ border=”0″ alt=”” style=”border:none !important; margin:0px !important;” />

&

2.) Self Coaching 101 Use Your Mind – Don’t Let It Use You by Brooke Castillo

They both relate to the mind and thoughts and how we can overcome the unwanted or negative thinking we create and bring us closer to inner happiness.

Bottom line is, I am feeling good. I’ve made some small tweaks in life and I’m creating new habits one day at a time.

Here are 8 tweaks I’ve done to date:

  1. Workout 6 days for at least 30 minutes.
  2. Got an accountablity friend.
  3. Reading 2-3 times a week (for now, gearing to read everyday). Feeding my mind with positive information.
  4.  Smiling more.
  5. Sending messages to friends & family. Praising them or thanking them.
  6. Hung up my vision board, I made 4 years ago, up on my wall to remind myself of my future I have ahead.
  7. Sent out my first email to three amazing women I know and informed them that I am licensed facilitator for Danille LaPorte’s Fire Starter Sessions book and wanted to set up a workshop with them to build up my facilitator skills.
  8. Started a gratitude jar (need to work on the consistency part).

What tweaks have you made in your life to feel good these days?

I’d Love to hear from you. Please share!

Love ya.

Xo

Lady Gwen

 

Accountability: Who holds you accountable?

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We’ve all heard that if you want to meet your goals or achieve something you really want, you need “accountability.”

Strangely enough, someone from the past and barely knew, has offered to help me!

I am Grateful. 🙂

Monday evening, I went out to dinner with someone who I knew of back in high school, but I never socialized or knew anything about him. His name is Mike. We were never in the same circle of friends.  However, he is close to one of my girlfriends, Marianne. She also went to same high school and they both work in the field of Real Estate. During her 4oth Birthday party last month, he and I met for the first time since school.

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It’s funny how the universe works people in and out of your life.

In conversations with Mike, I got to know who he is.  He is smart and really ambitious when it comes to his success.  Our friend Marianne said that he is one of their biggest realtor in their office and he’s really good at what he does. The way he spoke, I felt how passionate he is about his work, where he is headed and what he wants to achieve. It really inspired me.

I shared with him about my life quest, what I was not sure on what I wanted to do and how I want success too, but I haven’t experience the feeling of “How BAD do I really what it?” sensation. He agreed that I was all over the place. I have so many ideas but not one solid foundation to start with.

We went through all the criteria…

What’s your Why?

What holds you back?

What are you goals?

If it’s not in writing, it doesn’t exist!

I expressed to him, I don’t know how to set goals. I’ve never really had a need to set goals in the past. I’ve pretty much just lived my life by the seat of my pants. Day in. Day out. I had my mom to support me and be my cushion to fall back on. Don’t get me wrong. I worked jobs to make some living and not completely rely on her, but I didn’t push myself harder to achieve more.  Which is why I struggle today.  I had no ambition for anything before. I was very comfortable with life. Till NOW!

By the the end of dinner, it came down to being accountable and having someone to help me with it.  I told him about programs I’ve invested in to help me find my way.

Have you heard of the “Abundance Factor” movie?

Have you heard of Riley Dayne?

Abundance University

If you have AWWWWESOME SAAAAAUCE!  If you haven’t YOU MUST WATCH. If you liked or loved the movie “The Secret”, then you will enjoy this one also.

I bought Riley Dayne’s program “Abundance University” back in February. As I stated in my last post, Owning Your Truth, the procrastinator that I am, I had started the program but then stopped.

Same withB-School by Marie Forley. I bought that one two years ago and I still haven’t worked on the program.

I have great intentions to want to move ahead, I just need that spark to ignite the momentum and consistency behind it.

Mike said he understood my emotional struggles with myself and was very empathetic in what I’m going through. He has faced and still faces at times, the ups and downs and pushing through the barriers that holds us back.

He has offered to be my accountability person.  He is holding me accountable to work on these programs, which I started today, and let him know when I’m done with every module I complete. I must also be accountable on the days when I can not complete tasks and tell him why I couldn’t get it done.

This encounter with Mike, in the most unforeseen moment, has made me an even bigger believer in what you ask from the universe you will receive.

Someone once asked him..

Do you want to be SAFE or GREAT?

He said ever since that question he knew he wanted to be “Great”.  It was a very powerful question. Like him…

I WANT TO BE GREAT!

What do you want to be?

Who holds you accountable?

 

I’d love to hear from you.

Please share.

Xo

Lady G

 

 

 

 

 

Happy 4th of July!

Good Morning.

Have a beautiful 4th of July with your loved ones!

 

 

Xo

Lady G

Owning Your Truth

Self Sabotage

Here is my vulnerable truth. I’ve been unproductive on this blog. I haven’t done much of my “40 Good Deeds” I announced I would be doing for a year the day of my 40th Birthday.

Brain & Heart Struggle

I am struggling. Struggling with my head, heart, mind, body & soul.

I struggle to stay focused on my  9 – 5 job, to understand the INS and OUTS of becoming an entrepreneur, finding my passion, being alone (no husband or significant other), being a present mom to my son when I’m with him, yearning for financial freedom, and finding inner peace (aka happiness) without all the external material hoopla and people.

design-5

Reading, Reading, Listening, Listening…so many inspirational talks after talks. Investing in self-help programs after another self-help program. Feeling as if I am getting nowhere.  It makes me CRY and my heart ACHES most of the time. They are all so wonderful, yet it all wears me out!!!

Here is my other truth…

I am a “PERFECTIONIST.”

You know the kind that thinks about doing all kinds of ideas, waits for the right moment to work on it, thinks about them…thinks some more, starts them but never follows through…Yep that’s me!

Oh and did I tell you I’m a procrastinator too? It’s exhausting being me sometimes.

The seeker, the perfectionist, & the Lazy Bull.

The seekerThe Perfectionist

 

 

I say “The Lazy Bull” because I am a Taurus and being lazy is one of our negative characteristics.

My home is probably the biggest down fall for being lazy.  I literally get home and I don’t want to do a thing. I know…this is how most people feel when they get home. Right? (Sigh) I just want to sit on the sofa and watch TV.

TV is one of my biggest ADDICTIONS!

Knowing I want to leave my 9-5 job, have quality time with my son, family & friends, have financial stability, live life on my own terms and have inner peace; TV takes over these presence more frequently than not. Ain’t that a bitch!

There are days I make myself sick thinking of how much TV I watch that I fantasize about hitting it with a sledgehammer and completely getting rid of it from my home.  But I can’t & I don’t.

(Funny. I couldn’t find a modern version of this ith a flat TV LOL)

Every few, far and between moments, I get one good day, maybe two in a row, and I become the Nike logo “Just Do It”! I get a sudden burst of energy and I just want to rule. I get shit done!

NO TV.

NO TV

I want more of these days.  I need to take the “Work Smarter, Not harder” phrase and apply it harder on those days to kick-ass.

I just need to figure out what my clear system is to get more momentum. Find what steps or methods that suit me.

Here are few things I know about myself:

  1. I definitely feel that energy pull or vibe in me that knows I am meant for something more.
  2. I know I don’t want to give up today.
  3. There are days I can see my clear vision of where I’m heading.
  4. I’m a visual person. I like to watch and then do.
  5. I like to learn hands on with a one-to-one person or in a small group.
  6. The internet gets my mind all worked up with overwhelmed amounts of information. Therefore, I’ve buying excessively too many programs to find the easiest way to get to where I want to be. However, no such thing. So I understand there is no “easy” way around success. I’ve got to put in the work.
  7. When I feel sluggish, lethargic, no stamina (which is most of the time) it’s hard for me to get going. I’m pretty sure sugar is my enemy. (Need to go “cold turkey” as they say).
  8. I know I need to get over my biggest HUMP about myself to be able to succeed. “Fear”

What is your truth? 

What are your struggles?

 Got smart tips?

If you’re like me, struggling and want to share your truth, please share!

I would love to hear from you.

Thanks.

Xo

Lady G

 

 

 

Should I be frighten of Online Dating?

Current situation: Single. I would like to test the waters. Terrified to meet someone online.

 

I would have never imagined myself to be single at 40.  I have always been the relationship type. Now that I’m single, I don’t know how to date. Is there a manual, please, for the emotionally crippled?  Is it a good thing or bad thing to be a relationship type person or should you know how to be the “dating type”?

Before I used to meet someone through school, friends or work. Now, at 40, I have to go online and swipe left if I don’t like them or right if I do.  WTF!  I used to meet someone in person and if there was a spark, we’d flirt, be friends and then POW “RELATIONSHIP.”

If I was single for like a split second, I would be that person who goes along in conversation with the guy who was brave enough to come over and speak to me. Even though I had no intention of going out with them, I would give them my number and then I would ignore their call.  Or when the conversation came to the point where the guy would ask me if he could take me out I’d say “I’m sorry but I have a boyfriend” just so they wouldn’t feel bad and so they’d leave me alone.  It sucks to do, but sometimes for me, turning them down gently that way made me feel better.

I’ve been alone for 8 months now and I’m still not so sure I like it.  After my break up back in October, I set a goal to be free of men for at least 6 months because I was emotionally spent.  First, it was my divorce. Then, my 1+ year relationship breakup.

I struggled with not being with someone for a few months at first. Cried a lot. By the sixth month, it got easier. Still, at the eighth month mark it can still get hard at times to get used to it.  However, I have learned to enjoy the alone moments much more so now than before.  It is nice to come home and not say a word to anyone. When I don’t have my son, Hudson, I have what some women wished they had, even if it’s for a few hours – some alone time! I am grateful and I do appreciate it! 🙂

I have joined two dating websites and they freak me out.  Here are my reasons why.

  • The unfamiliarity of not knowing the person face to face.
  • I don’t want men that I don’t find attractive to keep notifying me.
  • Seeing someone on it I already know. (which I have LOL)
  • Someone I know seeing me on it.
  • It’s just so freaking weird to me currently.

You would think knowing you can now swipe left on the online dating sites, I’d feel less guilty about it. LOL Nope, I don’t. GRRRR I feel every time I do swipe left the guy can see me doing it and I hear them say “Well that’s just rude” or have that sad disappointed look.

Unfortunately, I’ve been doing more left swipes then right ones!!!

Currently, I have been messaging with two guys but one stop writing me.  So I’m just messaging with one.  Still no question of whether we should meet yet.

I’ve been watching Sex & the City reruns again and as much as they are funny as hell, there is some truth to these episodes. When you are single, all the married people are more magnified and in your face about not being in a relationship.  And as you get older it is seems to be much harder to meet someone the old fashion way.  They should create the modern version of the show and called it “Sex & Swipe left or Right City.”

Women in the city must still have a better turn out meeting someone in person as much as online.  Unlike us women in burbs, it is a bit more difficult and have no choice but to find them online.

What is your dating situation like? 

Have you tried online dating?

How has it worked out for you?

I’d like to hear from you. Leave a comment below.

XO

Lady G

 

A Letter to My Son: To be a Leader, Compassion is Key.

Today is Sunday May 28th, 2017. It’s Memorial Day Weekend. We had no set plans for the weekend. Just another weekend with an extra day off from work and school.  I did, however, work my part-time gig Saturday night at the catering hall in Nyack.  I was asked to bartend a party of a 30-year high school reunion.  Nothing big. Just a party of 60.  Not too bad of a night. The party started at 7 p.m. and ended at 11 p.m.  There were two other parties as well throughout the night in other parts of the venue.

It had been weeks since I worked there. I originally dreaded going back. Who wants to work another job when you have a full-time one? But when you need to make ends meet, you do what you need to do.  When I got there, my co-workers were pleased to see me. Some asked me where I had been and that it was good to see me.  It  pleased me to know I was missed.

Fast forward to the party. Guests arrived and they immediately started ordering drinks.  It was an open bar so there was no hassle in dealing with money for the night except for tips.  Most people asked for mixed drinks but soon after people started to ask for domestic beers. To our dismay the venue only had a few domestic beers left in the fridge. Within an half hour into the party we ran out of what we had.  The guest were pretty upset, rightfully so.  I couldn’t believe that a catering place and restaurant would not be stocked with domestic beers.  It was very strange and odd to me. Then again it’s not my first experience on a job where they are unequipped with things that are needed for these types of events.

Moving on through the night. Our party ended and we had started our cleanup process.  Again, besides our 30th Reunion party there were other parties going on as well.  A waiter from one of the other parties came to us asking if one of us could go over to the other side to help out. I volunteered but I didn’t know what they need help with. As I was walking over, the waiter said to me “the bar outside is crazy and they need some help. Can you help bartend?”  I said “yes.”  Well I didn’t know I was walking into the “Lion’s Den” when I got to the bar. It was mayhem.  Bartenders running back & forth, the DJ was playing loud music, customers were looking to order drinks and there were huge piles of messes all over.  So I jumped right in and I was scared that I would be eaten alive.  I had never worked that side of the venue and I only worked on their cash register once before this night. What a crazy moment it was! I wanted to cry and scream out but there was no time. I couldn’t help wonder what these customers thought about us and the service here.  I know if I were on their end, I would of completely said “This Place Sucks!”

The moral of this story is that it amazes me how businesses run these days.  There really isn’t much order, guidance or great leadership going on.  Just managers telling people what to do. When there is no leadership, there is no good morale that goes on in the workforce.  This part-time job and my full-time job all relate to the same concept I keep running into.  People just don’t care about their work environment like they should because the top people don’t have a clue themselves. It’s all just go go go and do do do attitude.  All the while employees are not caring or being compassionate about their jobs.  To me and to many others it’s just a job. No more, no less. We have no extra care like we should because the higher ups don’t show compassion themselves in their workers.

I record “Super Soul Sunday” by Oprah every Sunday. I hope it’s around for you to watch when you get older one day, Hudson. She sits and talks to the most spiritual and influential people who are truly inspirational.  These people are mindful to what this world needs in today’s age.

In the episode I watched today, she sits with the CEO of Linkin (Google It. LOL). The episode is called “The 5 Keys to Happiness That LinkedIn CEO Jeff Weiner Lives By”  He is what I believe most, if not all CEO, FFO, EEO’s, VP, EP, Presidents; whatever the top executives acronyms have these days, should be taught about leadership.

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/own-super-soul-sunday/linkedin-ceo-jeff-weiner-the-5-keys-to-happiness-video#ixzz4iPwagR2a

We need more leaders to show up with compassion in every industry. If you ever become a top executive or own a business of some sort, I hope to have shown you a lot about compassion, empathy, kindness and really good core values that are simple in life. I hope that will be your mission to your employees first so that they feel valued and will work with loyalty to you just  because you cared.  In turn you would be the one sitting in with Oprah or the next generation of Oprahs and you would be the next “Jeff Weiner.”

I Love You to the Moon & Back. I carry your heart!

Love Mama.

Xo